Infinite Fellowship Ministries

The Mystery Of Sex – Part 4: Sermon By Apostle Gobanga

Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God; for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 (NKJV)

But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them.

Ephesians 5:3-7 (NKJV)

Sexual perversion is a state where a person’s sexual demeanour deviates from what is divinely ordained as the acceptable use of sex. It is the deliberate change of the inherent purpose and the function of sex as divinely ordained. The motivation behind it is lust, which renders one to a state of moral debasement.

God ordained sexual communion to bind a couple in an exclusive relationship to be shared by no one else but themselves. Premature sexual relationships hinder development of true intimacy in marriage because it becomes the focus of the relationship rather than friendship being central in the relationship. Sexual perversion before marriage robs you the beauty of  friendship/marital union vested in marriage, your partner; thus, after sex you lose interest in each other.

When sex becomes the focus in relationship than friendship, both partners will lose value for each other, rendering themselves to mere toys/objects. True friendship is the locus within which individual weaknesses, differences and struggles get sorted out amicably, for friendship is centered more on purpose, not sex.

Sex cannot substitute friendship. Neither can it generate true relationship within and without marriage. Sex is meant to be the outflow of true friendship, not the other way round.

Without fostering true friendship before marriage, the couple’s sexual communion gets hampered. This also includes individuals whose perception is that of sex to boost their futuristic marital communion. Weaknesses or differences that haven’t been worked through, but discovered after sexual intercourse make the couple struggle harder to work through their problems.

Sexual intercourse doesn’t capacitate a couple’s union, but friendship does. Sex is only the result unifying factor of a couple’s friendship in holy matrimony.

He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

Proverbs 25:28 (KJV)

Lack of self-control opens doors for Satan to pervade one’s life and commit havoc at will. Those who are controlled by their lusts and concede to their passions are unstable as water like Reuben, Jacob’s firstborn son. Thus, they tend to be self-willed, restless, moody and stubborn.

Sexual perversion cripples your will capacity such that your decision making process is dominated by sin. In other words, sexual perversion robs you of your freedom to enjoy fellowship with the Divine, and fulfilling the function for which you were created.

Subsequently sexual perversion displaces you from your place of exercising dominion within your Eden. Thus, it consigns you to a hapless fate of bondage, where defeat becomes your constant abode and expression.

A broken relationship after sexual intercourse before marriage creates a strong and unpleasant memory the whole of your life, especially for ladies who often fall victim to such.

Ladies find that their hopes for marriage are dashed upon realization that their boyfriends betrayed them, resulting in grief, which could led to mental disorder and psychological instability. Hatred for others or themselves becomes the sorry state of such. Hatred or bitterness for the other person may lead to embittered lot resorting to seeking revenge.

However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”

2 Samuel 13:14-15 (NKJV)

Sexual intercourse outside marriage denies the individual the privilege to experience what true love is. True love is only possible when Christ indwells an individual’s life, where He alone governs your thoughts, actions and moderates your emotions.

There are four forms of love:

1. Eros– love based on sexual attraction,
2. Storge– love found within families,
3. Philia– affectionate type of love, and
4. Agape– unconditional love.

Now Eros, Philia and Storge are forms of love which must emanate from Agape form of love.

Pre-marital sex incapacitates you from expressing other forms of love/affection for your spouse/friend, where you’re preoccupied with nothing short of sex. You fall short of learning to appreciate each other, communicate, fellowship, etc exclusive of literal sex.

Sexual intercourse outside marriage leads to either or one of the spouses or partners living in constant suspicion of his/her partner/spouse cheating on him/her. There is mistrust such that even when your spouse comes late, you suspect that he/she is cheating on you. Why? Because of the past sexual escapades you had before marriage.

It’s vital for an individual to seek deliverance from past sexual perversions before marriage, because such experiences will impede the true liberty of sexual communion within a futuristic marriage, creating a ground for suspicion.

As earlier stated, sexual intercourse outside marriage creates a legal ground for devils to indwell your life. Thus, spiritual husbands and spiritual wives pervade, take control over your life, way beyond your control, such that you become demonic possessed. You become subject to their pervasive tendencies. These spiritual spouses ensure that you never commit to any serious relationship within/without marriage, because they make you become a tool set for rotational sexual activity.

Sexual perversion strengthens other forms of bondages you struggle within your life. Unless you let go, those bondages continue to have a grip over your entire life. These bondages grip your entire personality to the point that you lose control over your entire humanity.

Pre-marital sex leads to one heaping iniquity upon iniquity. Fornication results in the individual committing other sins. In trying to cover up, the parties tend to lie, express bitterness, have uncontrolled expressions of sexual activity, are given to abortion, etc.

Children born out of wedlock commence their life deficient of wholeness because marriage is the proper spiritual foundation for sex. Marriage is the ideal realm for children to spring forth in wholeness. Children born outside marriage are short of the benefit of a proper foundation and as such, will be open to manipulation from the demonic world. At times, such kids become agents of sorrow to their parents and societies.

Pre-marital sex results in an individual’s tendency to compare their spouse’s sexual performance to that of their ex-partner.

Abstinence costs nothing whether spiritually, emotionally, psychologically and even physically unlike pre-marital/extra-marital sexual encounters, which render people to incur a dear price at their peril. Abstinence affords a potential couple ample time to get to know and relate well with each other.

Sex only enables one to map out his/her partner’s body, not the person resident within his/her being. You cannot know someone by only engaging with the body minus the soul/spirit, for it is like getting to know a house devoid of the owner.

Abstinence is a sign of maturity, where you demonstrate self-control and a quest to learn more about commitment, becoming a role-model and afford the relationship/marriage to last longer. You get to also learn more about yourself better, where you differentiate between true love and sex.

Sex cannot breed love and is not the proof/evidence of love.

How To Come Out Of Sexual Perversion

Admit that you have a problem. To admit is the first step towards deliverance, where you learn to take full responsibility for what you indulged yourself in. It entails you avoiding blame on your partner for taking advantage of you, blaming your parents for not teaching you, blaming the devil for tempting you, etc.

Many keep justifying their sexual pervasive demeanour rather than admitting their sin before God. To admit is a sign of humility and maturity. Being defensive is a sign of weakness and an admission of your preference for immaturity. Thus, don’t be defensive, subjective, or offensive. Refusal to admit is like telling the doctor that you’re okay when its obvious from the symptoms that you’re ill of sickness.

Acknowledge that it is possible for you to get delivered from your sexual quagmire. Without having the belief that it is possible to get delivered, you will render yourself to a state of self-pity where you continue to play the victim. There is no such a thing as my issue is insurmountable for God to handle, that this is my life. Seek the Lord with the whole of your heart, mind and strength, asking Him to deliver you. Don’t approach the Lord on the platform of self-pity and condemnation. God never condemns.

Only God can deliver you, not man. To seek God requires that first of all, study what His word says about sexual perversion, and sexual purity. Let God’s voice speak to you through His word. Be humble enough to allow God to speak to you through His word. God’s word has detailed provisions as to how one can get delivered from sexual perversion, the consequences of continued sexual perversion and the benefits of sexual purity. Seeking God entails persistent prayer with the reading/meditating/studying/hearing the word/voice of God and worship.

After confessing your sins, take time to change from all forms of appearances of sin including avoidance of bad company, places, and habitual tendencies that serve as weaknesses by which devils use as a foothold to gain control over your life. Seek the counsel of anointed ministers of God who will guide you on the due process of walking out of sexual perversion. Remember that deliverance is a process, not a walk in the woods. Patience is crucial in one’s determination to walk out of such a lifestyle.

Have an accountable partner/friend whom the Lord will use to keep you in check as regards your morals/social life especially with the opposite sex. Avoid being a loner lest the devil takes advantage of your vulnerability. Ensure that your friend is aware of your daily well-being/engagements.

You must detach yourself from items you may have received from your sexual partners, such as gifts, cards, clothing, souvenirs, etc for as long as they’re in your possession, you’ll constantly remember your past.

Where possible, seek forgiveness from your former sexual partners. Let them know that you’re taking responsibility for the part you played to engage with them in sexual perversion. Seeking forgiveness is not for their sake by for your sake, regardless of how they receive you.

Spend quality time studying God’s word, backing it up with prayer especially for your sexual healing, trusting God for restorative wholeness within your entire personality. This should be a daily exercise for as long as you aren’t whole till such a time there is a strong witness that your sexual functionality is divinely restored.

Should you by any chance slip back, don’t give up. Deliverance is a journey just like recovery from drug/substances abuse and alcohol/smoking.